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December 14th, 2007

12:33 am - Gettin' Fresh in Funky Town. I know I shouldn't type in here anymore. Not only because everyone in the world can read it, but because it seems like a bad habit that I should have abandoned by now...Like biting my nails. Which I still do by the way. What to say? I'm older, but not that much wiser. I'm at home and working (for now) at barcus. Even though I was forty dollars short on my drawer today somehow and I'm very pissed off about it. Anyway, I guess it's not the end of the world. God I feel so immature. I'm a sophomore now at MVCC and I have no idea where I want to go to school next year. Maybe UIC. Maybe somewhere farther away. Although I would love to be a crumbum forever, I can't live with my dad forever. Hopefully I'll win the lottery for 137 million dollars and I won't have to worry about it. I don't want to talk about my love life in here mainly because I don't want to have to think about my love life in general right now. So sorry, avid readers, no dice this time. I would probably be mildly creeped out if someone actually still reads this. I'm mildly creeped out that I'm using it right now, actually. I just couldn't sleep and could think of nothing more productive to do with my time. I wish I was a better person. That sounds empty, but I mean it. I also wish I had a kitten or a puppy to play with. That's been on my mind lately for some reason. I hope I'm not getting fired tomorrow. But then again, maybe I could collect unemployment. Just kidding. Kind of. Okay I really am done. So now I either have to go to sleep or resort to something even more pathetic than typing in livejournal. And that's something that would be hard to find. Current Mood: anxious Current Music: The gentle humming of my computer.

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November 11th, 2006

12:31 pm - We started laughing til it didn't hurt.. What a long strange trip it's been. Hey look I'm at U of I! It's been a long time, livejournal, I thought I should fill you in. I'm here but I'm going shortly. Strange huh? Not really. This isn't the place for me, no one should have been too surprised by that. No one who knew me well at least. I don't know where I'm heading in life right now. I feel way too old. 19 this year, and still keeping a livejournal? For shame. I'm going home and figuring out my life, hopefully. This has been a very strange couple of months. I lost one of my best friends in a sense, but I guess he's still around. It's just sad. Caity and I talk occasionally. Most of my friends are in Michigan, but it's the ones who don't belong there. I miss them and just want to be stoned in the garage so I have a comfort zone. Pathetic, I know. But you wouldn't know. Unless you were there, you could never know what you're missing. This is scattered. I am scattered. I have to try and wrap up this semester with decent grades so that my dad doesn't kill me. I'm trying to get involved in a nursing program at Moraine. We'll see how this pans out. Not that I'm terribly unhappy, which it kind of seems like I am through this entry. I've made a couple of friends here. My roommate is amazing and some of the girls who live on my floor kick ass. But you know for having over 30,000 people at this school, there sure as hell aren't a lot of hot guys. What the fuck U of I. Clearly this is not the place for me. Mostly, though, I miss my friends. I can't wait until Thanksgiving so we can have our POTluck dinner. Remember when I said that I'd never ever miss high school? Well so far, I don't. But I miss the people and that age and being at home. As homey as home can get I suppose. Current Mood: awake Current Music: The yeah yeah yeahs - maps

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May 24th, 2006

01:25 pm - You really think so? I went to type something in the title that started with the letter "Y", and the phrase "You really think so?" came up. So I thought I'd use it. I think I used to be cooler. I don't know. I think I used to be smarter too but years of killing my brain cells have dumbed me down. Well, I graduated. I'm an alumni. And a student of the University of Illinois. Um, go Illini? I guess? We'll see how this goes. Even if I hate it, I can always change schools next year. Despite the fact that livejournal kind of took a step back due to myspace, I kind of like the fact that I kept one. Though my entries were infrequent at best, it's kind of nice to look back and remember something. It's like a diary for the incredibly lazy. Also I have a horrible memory, so I need all the help I can get. This summer should be good. It has been good so far, and will get better, but the thing is, the end is going to be so fucking sad. I don't really want to think about it. But I'm going to bawl my eyes out at our last big hurrah. It's the end of may and it's raining. What the fuck is this? Dear Mike, Get better. Dear Lauren Marcet, Just checking to make sure youre still breathing. Call sometime, seriously. Or at least let me know when you work so I can stalk you more successfully. <3 Current Location: Your house. Current Mood: calm Current Music: sports radio

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April 30th, 2006

09:34 pm So sick, so sick of being tired. And oh so tired of being sick. I think i have strep. When will things get better? The only thing that makes me feel better is the fact that music couldn't abandon me if it wanted to. boys suck. i feel like im in 8th grade just by typing that. but it's true. Prom was okay. now im going to bed. or to hucks. Current Mood: sick Current Music: the yeah yeah yeahs - modern romance

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March 20th, 2006

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December 7th, 2005

10:32 pm Yeah I know. I said I'm done with this, and I am really. I just had an announcement to make, my annual annoucement. Ladies and Gentleman, it is officially break-up season. Hang on to your hats. p.s. fuck college, I'm just going to fill out a mcdonalds application. Current Mood: relaxed Current Music: RJD2 - ghostwriter

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November 26th, 2005

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November 8th, 2005

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October 24th, 2005

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October 10th, 2005

11:17 pm - Damn. What a motherfucking weekend. Great Lakes, Great Times, eh Cait? Went up to Michigan and had some fun this weekend. Saw familiar faces, loved every second. Saw kyle, alisa, dave, robbie, ben, sally, and a lot of others. Damn, I had such a great time and not just because of the drugs. Came home sunday night after being there since friday, and just spent today, monday, with my boy and got my ass kicked playing halo. We watched the transporter and ate an awesome dinner with his family. Considering moving to Sweden. Not really. Lauren Marcet my heart goes out to you and your kidneys, Ashley my hopes are that you DO go to college and avoid hookerdom (unless its with me), Lauren Anaya i hope whatever is troubling you is settled soon and I have a book recommendation for you its called "Tangeled Up In Daydreams" pick it up, read it, and youll know why I suggested it. Danny Nap happy birthday, and Edward congrats on the girlfriend whose picture graced my friends page. Shes a cutie, hang on to that one. I've got a full weekend (considering tomorrow is senior ditch day) and the DEATH CAB FOR CUTIE CONCERT WEDNESDAY. That's right, you're jealous. This weekend rules. Even more than that one weekend with the stripper....eh, maybe not. hahaha. <3 Current Mood: happy Current Music: the sounds of halo from the other room

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September 28th, 2005

08:25 am - like a night in shining armor, from a long time ago Nothing is the same today as it was a year ago. Why did I have to grow up so fast? I have this constant yearning to go home, but the place in my head that I want to return to isn't there anymore. Even if I showed up at my old house, it wouldn't be mine, it belongs to someone else now. I don't know, it's this constant feeling and I can't make it stop and I can't remedy it and when I can't sleep at night all I can do is analyze what's wrong with me and how the hell I'm going to become the person I want to be. A delightful form of self-mutilation I like to induldge in whenever I feel particularly down. Maybe college will be better. Then again, maybe not. Maybe it's in my mind and I'll end up like the girl in the awakening and virginia woolf and all the other women who wanted to be free. Maybe not. Maybe I'm just particularly angsty this morning because it's 8:30 and I doubt I slept even an hour last night. I'm going to visit DePaul with Caity because the seniors at Oak Lawn have to and I'll take any oppourtunity to ditch school. Having the freedom of being able to simply tell your parents that you're not going to school because you just don't feel like it is amazing, but it's so hard not to abuse it. We've been in school like what now ash, 18 days? I've already missed 4. I don't know. I just can't take the incessant bullshit that goes on constantly, all day long until I can leave. Maybe I'm just bored. Maybe I just need to feel loved. Maybe I'm just hungry. I have to go wake up Caity. Current Mood: crazy Current Music: none

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September 14th, 2005

01:45 am - I'm starting to panic (wait, wait, wait) I know I should be working on something productive right now, like college applications (of which I've turned in none yet, but I'm working on it) or scholarship applications (which i desperately need), but for some reason it just seems more important right now to just sit around and listen to some really good music. You know? I finally got to talk to Collin. Not in depth, but hey, it's a start. He was always my mom's favorite. Current Mood: awake Current Music: Imogen Heap - Hide and Seek

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September 12th, 2005

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September 6th, 2005

02:05 pm - Schoooool Things seem like they are crazier and more hectic than they really are. I don't know it's hard to explain. College? Ugh I don't want to think about it. JT has court today, I hope that goes well. I miss beverly folks and it feels weird to be in school now after a summer of wandering. I saw Caity this weekend and that was great. 40 year old virgin is fucking hilarious. I need to apply for more scholarships. I might get a new car. 2000 pontiac GT. If anyone is interested in my current car (I doubt you would be) let me know. '95 chevy cavlier in moderate condition except things on it are broken that have nothing to do with the car actually running. For example. the air conditioning and heat only work on high power. The door panel on the passenger side is gone. The driver's side speaker sucks. I think thats about it. I don't know. I doubt anyone is interested, but if so, hit me up. I need to go look for scholarships online because college=money. *crossyourfingers* drugs are good. and when you do them, people think that you're cool. Current Mood: restless Tags: gorillaz - feel good inc.

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August 12th, 2005

08:31 am - One too many, huh? I know, I know, zero posts to like three in a three day span. I just have nothing better to do right now. It's 8:30 am. I'm about to leave with my mom to help her put her classroom together for school. Then I have to get home and do random shopping and pick up stuff at marist. Then I have to go shower, change, ect. Then Nick and Dan and Dave are playing somewhere so Ed and I are going to see that before we head over to Jess'. It will be a busy day. I ordered tickets for Death Cab today. I hope JT will come. I wish it wasn't so muggy. I just realized how very soon I go back to school and how much more I have to do/get done. Invisible Man questions need to get done one way or another. I just realized how impossible french is going to be. Fuck this lets just all have the same answers and claim we worked together, yes? I mean, oui? I hope this year goes well, I really do. I had a really fun night last night. I had a fun day too. I went to the mall and bought a whole bunch of clothes and it felt wonderful. I rarely get to go shopping so I enjoy it when I do. I got to eat lunch with my pal Elise then I read Tuesdays with Morrie and later hung out with Dan and Ed and finally got to see jaytee and fell asleep there until this morning. I feel really happy right now. I hope this will last. Coll, I hope youre up for a lot of trips, cause I think I'm going to miss this one. <3 Call me by the way. Same goes for you Pastore. Or die. Just kidding. Call me or I will chastise you. Time to go. 8days?! Where did my summer go? This sort of sucks. Current Mood: awake Current Music: Death Cab - For What Reason

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August 10th, 2005

03:32 pm - I just can't look, it's killing me I'm feeling good today. I woke up and finished all of my summer reading work for the stranger. Which reminds me, Ash and Coll I need your e-mail addresses and you hoes better get to work. <3 Just kidding you guys are no hoes. . . Yet. It feels good to have SOMETHING out of the way at least. I still have french though, and that will be a bitch. Sunday though, I will get through it AND get to hang out with the illustrious Lauren Marcet. I think I'm going to be more decisive. That seems like a good resolution for today. After all the only bad decision is indecision. (that's not true). I can't believe I am a senior. I hear good things about that. I need more CD's. Does anyone know when the bookstore opens? I need polos and that stupid grey lock. Okay well I have to go get changed for work. <3 Current Mood: cheerful Current Music: the killers - mr brightside

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August 9th, 2005

04:03 pm - Hit me, I can take your cheap shots Ah, I'm going to miss summer once it's gone. Highs and lows, but right now I'm on a high and I don't want it to be over. Let's just say that it was memorable to say the least. I met a lot of new, amazing people, most of whom are leaving, but that's okay. It was worth meeting them even if I only got to know them for a short time. Jaytee leaves on the 20th, which is going to suck, but right now we are happy and thats all that matters. I don't know how things will turn out but I'm hopeful. School starts soon this will suck. I am in the East lot, am I alone in that? I think a lot of people have west. Whatever. I still need to finish buying books. And do summer reading. And french work. Oh well that's what the last few days of summer are for, right?? Well I'm going to go. Lauren Marcet, call me about french. People are walking through my house right now because they might buy it. This feel awkward. Current Mood: calm Current Music: None

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July 27th, 2005

06:26 pm - Well, it's all relative (even if we don't understand) I officially hate Deep River Water Park. Fuck you Indiana. I was never a fan. Time is slipping by. Laur, lemme know when I can get the petit prince from you. I need to work on my summer reading. I need to spend more time with jay tee before he leaves. I need to stop hating my mom. I need to get all the shit out of my house. I need to make more money. I need more money. I need to be more light hearted. I need to see Caity. I need to hate less. I need more sleep. I'm sorry. I don't know. Livejournals should never be for bitching, I know it's annoying, but I'm pissed off for the second time all summer and I hate when I'm angry. I miss you Abbie. Lauren Marcet, where are you? Ashley Pastore, I will rescue you soon, I promise. Colleen Smith, things will be allright, they always are. Ed, I miss you. Hopefully I'll see you tonight if I ever leave work...which I have yet to do. Ryan, if you still read this ever, thank you for sticking around when shit got rough for me this year. I won't forget it, I've always been thankful. Anyone else reading this, I probably miss you. If you want to hang out sometime, leave me one or give me a call. I need to break something. Current Mood: pissed off Current Music: Jack Johnson.

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July 19th, 2005

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July 1st, 2005

09:42 pm Dear everyone who comments on my livejournal with stupidass drunken bullshit that they find amusing, aka Chris O'Connor and his drunk ass butt buddies, Why don't you just leave me the fuck alone? Why do you feel the need to read my livejournal and comment thinking youre clever in some sort of drunken stupor, when I'm obviously not friends with you and haven't spoken to you in about two months? Guess what, you're a fucking asshole, wait, make that plural, the whole bunch of you. And you know what the funny thing is? You're all going to read this and tear me apart behind my back (Because that's the way you guys do things, with no balls whatsoever. That is of course, unless you're ganging up on someone tearing them to shreds in person, because you guys have no respect for anyone at all), and I just plain don't give a shit anymore. I honestly have nothing left to lose in my life, so I'm free of all obligations and inhibitions. Fuck off. You guys aren't funny or clever, and never have been. Are you guys that devoid of any other topics of conversation other than me? Are you guys honestly that fucking pathetic? I guess so. In conclusion, if you have something to say to me, if you have a problem with me, don't type it online to me with a giggling bunch of testosterone-deprived boys sitting behind you absorbing every word on the screen, don't call me and leave me a fucking drunk message thinking that you're in some way better than me, and don't make snide comments to me while hiding in the midst of a group of 3-7 people. Talk to me, to my face, one on one. I guess that thought never occured to you huh? See you in hell bitches, I'm through with your inane bullshit. Current Mood: accomplished Current Music: none